onward

I leave new York in five days. I have been feeling angry and disappointed and consumed by a racing mind for months now. In five days I get to climb. Six months ago I was sitting ontop of dinner rock, the last time I climbed before I drove east the morning after. My muscles were trobbing and my heart was racing. I smiled big smiles and thought about the life I was about to start. I wonder now, if I will find some resolution on the rock this time. Will the pain in my body help me to cope with the pain in my mind? Will I mourn a new life that did not work out the way I planned, or will I find some peace in my heart? I hope that the nightmares will subside inside my tent, and that the blood on my hands will help me realize the flowing worthiness inside my body. 5 day to crush.