Crash and Burn and Do you speak English?

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I woke up fairly early today...keep in mind I am a theatre girl so an early wake up means anytime before 10:00 a.m. Today was a 9:00 wake up. It was a cold morning, but a nice day for a run. I am beginning to realize how much I love this city and how much I will miss it during my six months away. I am thrilled to go back to Utah, but while I was jogging on the National Mall this morning, I thought about how much I take this city for granted, and how much of what it offers that I simply ignore. I guess we all get so busy with life that we don't see all that is around us. I don't know. Do people that live in Utah stop noticing the mountains? I hope not.

I was waiting to have lunch with Mark K when he called to cancel. Although it would have been fun, I was fairly relieved because my to do list was growing. I headed out to target to do some shopping for my trip to Austria. I needed batteries, a refill for my maglite bulb, an umbrella, a European electrical outlet adapter, and some other shit. I found myself having significant aisle rage.

WHY is it that women with babies in strollers see you walking with a cart at a brisk pace and feel the need to pull out right in front of you only to do the mommy stroll?

WHY is it that no one at Target knows where anything is?

WHY is it that LCD bulbs cost $20?

WHY is it so freaking hard to find an umbrella? I looked everywhere and finally found one in the Accessories aisle. Is an umbrella really an accessory?

WHY is that store such a fucking maze? I think I passed the maternity section (the only part of the store where I knew I didn't need to shop) a dozen times.

AND finally...WHY do they always over charge me? AND get pissed off at ME when I bring them the receipt and try to correct the error.

I want a fucking cigarette.

Okay, sorry. I am feeling better. I appreciate the time to vent.
I leave for Austria tomorrow to tour THE OFFICE. The company is DC based and produces Visually Based Theatre that is performed by deaf artists. I have worked with them in the past and am thrilled to take on this new adventure.

Here is the problem. My German sucks. And my ASL is atrocious. So, I called my father and told him everything I remembered how to say in German...you know things like: My name is Erin. I am a Stage Manager, Where is the bathroom?, I need a map, Where is a telephone?, I am hungry, Where do I buy shoes?...the important things. I nailed the words, but Dad laughed hysterically at my accent. If my father laughs that hard, the Austrian stage technicians will have a field day.

I have been sitting in front of the TV watching, pausing, and watching an ASL DVD. I am catching on a bit. I guess at the least, knowing the alphabet is good because if I can't think of the sign I can take four hours to spell it out letter by letter.

So, I am off to pack some more. I am trying to keep the bags small because I will literally be on subways, busses, planes, and trains in the next days.

OH!!! One more thing...the plane thing. I really hate to fly. Having said that...I am taking the AIRBUS from Amsterdam to Vienna.

THE AIRBUS!

The huge plane with the wing span of a football field that can hold 4 million people, a marching band, Ann Coulter's ego, and livestock-two of every kind. OK I am exaggerating...but it is HUGE and it is NEW and it is HUGE and I am not convinced that things that large should really fly...At least with me in it.

So, if you hear of an AIRBUS crashing, just think of me-drowsy and drooling from Dramamine with people signing at me and others yelling at me in Kraut speak to get out of the flames. I am screwed.